Plot twist
Harry Potter wakes up in hospital.
“Welcome back. You’ve been in a coma for 8 years” says the doctor. “You ran face first into a wall lmao”NO
Plot Twist:
Mrs Weasley makes all her kids volunteer at the hospital, and she encourages ron to go talk to the coma patient who’s his age that no one ever visits
hermione is a smart girl who volunteers to read to coma patients in the hospitals
at first ron is like “back the fuck off, this is my gig” cause he’s 11 and he doesn’t like girls yet, but soon the two of them start to get along, and they talk to each other and pretend to include comatose harry in the conversation.
and ginny, who is still totally a badass, but also a hopeless romantic, kisses him like he’s sleeping beauty and might wake up
they both get weirdly protective of the boy the same age as them, who’s been in a coma for so long, and get really mad when the Dursleys decide to pull the plug
(petunia actually feels bad about it, because she did love her sister and harry is all there is left of her)
so ron and hermione hatch this elaborate scheme to keep harry alive by moving him around the hospital, so the doctors can’t ever find him
they get caught, and harry gets taken off life support and monitor gives out one long beep, and he’s dead
and then suddenly his heart starts beating again, and he blinks is eyes and sits up and goes “Ron? Hermione? …you don’t look how i pictured…”
and it turns out that harry really did have a lot of money left to him by his parents, and if he’d died the dursleys would have gotten all of it (vernon’s evil plot, prolly), but it’s 8 years later and he’s legal and gets all of it
but Mrs. Weasley totally takes him in because all of the weasley have grown fond of him over the years, despite never really getting to know him.
PS: hagrid was the janitor that talked to harry during the night shift
PPS: snape was the orderly who was always a little too rough with harry when cleaning him up or changing his sheets, because he didn’t give a fuck the kids in a coma, but then was surprisingly helpful to ron and hermione when they were trying to keep harry alive
*slams fist on table* YES
Neville visits his parents who are patients in the same hospital. Sometimes he sits and talks to Harry.
And Dumbledore was an old patient at the hospital who has brain problems and always found his way into Harry’s room, and would always say weird, but helpful stuff to Harry
I sketched this a few months back while I was watching Camber of secrets and I finally got around to finishing it
Dorks in love. I have the headcanon that Harry goes to see Ginny in all her matches, and when they end she goes to greet him and they just stare at each other like the cutie pie´s they are.
I have so many questions and headcanons about the internet and the wizarding world.
No, listen.
Headcanon that muggles are catching wizards and witches doing magic and uploading it to vine and youtube. It doesn’t matter what the obliviators do because even if they erase the muggle’s memory the whole damn thing is on the internet. The Ministry doesn’t have a clue how to manage the situation, nobody knows what the internet is, so Kingsley drags in a muggleborn and they have to explain to him about doge and lolcatz and Facebook and Kingsley’s like, ‘Wat.’
To try and stop leaks the Ministry sets up a squad of witches and wizards whose sole job is to monitor the internet for pictures, videos and photos of anyone doing magic. Somebody has to make awkward arrangements to try and get internet installed in the Ministry. Somebody has to spend hours on the phone to the cable company and gets really frustrated when they get put on hold for ten hours.
The new team spend all day watching youtube videos and vines and it’s the best job ever for anybody who’s muggleborn. One team members learns how to code and hack muggle websites to they can remove any videos that breach the statute of secrecy; a whole new branch of magic is invented when someone finds a way to use magic to manipulate the internet. The job itself can be pretty boring. Days can go by with nothing happening and then somebody will shout, ‘Fuck sake somebody in Liverpool just uploaded a vine of somebody on a broomstick to the music of hocus pocus’ and they all have to run. If the team can’t get a video removed from the internet they spend a lot of time and energy trolling the comment section of Youtube making points about how the video is obviously bullshit to try and put doubt in the minds of muggles. Some ministry workers start writing clickbait artiles for Buzzfeed called, ‘Ten reasons why that ‘Dragons exist’ video is problematic’ or ‘Everyone on the internet belives this ten year old kid can do magic and it’s hilarious’. Some ministry workers spend hours on Reddit, Twitter and Facebook writing snarky comments about how the vines about magic are wrong and made up. It becomes a legitimate career move for a witch or wizard to spend hours on the internet.
So yeah.
I have a lot of questions.I was actually thinking about wizards and Internet yesterday afternoon; what if, once they figured out how it worked and understood how to manipulate it, they set up a sort of wizards-only DarkNet? there would be websites for people developing new spells, there could be social networks so that there would be communication between international wizarding communities, there could be a whole Knockturn Alley-type subset of sites for buying and selling shady magical artifacts.
We all talk about the mother-son relationship between Molly and Harry but barely of McGonagall and Harry
- McGonagall spent hours spying on the Dursley’s and didn’t want Harry to be put in their care
- she bought him a Nimbus 2000 with her own money and since it was new at the time, it must’ve cost a lot
- she put Harry on the quidditch team without checking with Oliver Wood and if it had been another student who was caught flying, they would have been expelled on the spot
- she defended Harry in front of Umbridge “He has achieved high marks in all Defence Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher”
- “Potter. I will assist you to become an Auror if it is the last thing I do! If I have to coach you nightly I will make sure you achieve the required results!”
- when Amycus spat at McGonagall, Harry cast the cruciatus curse on him which worked meaning Harry truly meant it, and when McGonagall called him foolish, Harry replied as if his actions didn’t need explanation
- “The scream was the more terrible because he had never expected or dreamed that Professor McGonagall could make such a sound” when McGonagall thought Harry was dead
- she was one of the first to reach Harry when he defeated Voldemort
